Putting Yourself First

November 7, 2010

This past week, I finally made it to the RoadRunner store to buy a pair of running shoes. I have not been getting my normal amount of exercise (walking or elliptical, plus core strengthening) and I was feeling it. Lethargic, less energy and putting on weight. And when I did exercise, my sneakers were so worn I was worried about my back and left right knee (go ahead and laugh if you are under 35, you’ll soon understand what I’m talking about….). I knew it had been a while since I had bought a new pair – but when I got to the checkout – I was told my current sneakers were purchased in July 2009. YIKES!

How did I let exercise – the one thing that keeps me healthy and sane (OK, maybe not sane but at least behaving appropriately in public settings) slide off my schedule?

Upon reflection, what has happened in the last two years is that I had put myself on the bottom of both the “scheduling support people for Jeremy list” and  the “to-do list.”  Parents and educators,  you know what I mean – you all do it. When you have special needs children your life can get swallowed up by your child’s or student’s needs.  I have been squeezing in my writing (ie paid work), my socializing (ie refreshing my social skills) and my exercise (ie keeping healthy) around Jeremy’s needs and everyone’s schedule.

I often tell parents and educators  during my presentations that they have to take time for themselves. Like the cabin crew tells you on the plane – you have to put your oxygen mask on first before you can help anyone else. Same goes for real life. If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will, and you won’t be  any good to anyone else. So please, do as I say and not as I  have been doing.

Now, I’m putting my priorities first on the schedule. Everything else is secondary. (At least till the new shoes get a little mileage on them).

Self-Advocacy is a Needed Life Skill for Students on the Autism Spectrum Headed to College

October 17, 2010

Psychology Today blog, October 17, 2010 – Yesterday, as I was presenting on Autism Life Skills in Grand Junction, Colorado, I discussed the need for teaching self- advocacy to high school students with autism, including Asperger’s Syndrome..  At the end, a parent approached me and said she was shocked to learn that once their child on the spectrum graduates from high school, reaches the ripe old age of 18 and is planning to attend college, a parent is no longer the person responsible education-wise: the student is. This means that when they are  18 years of age and are college students, the college contacts the student, not the parent. If the student will be requiring any kind of accommodations, he or she – not the parent – will need to ask for them  and discuss the need with Disabled Student Services.

This is why it is important that before they graduate form high school, students  know how to advocate for their needs. This includes having a good idea of what their disability is and how to describe it, what kind of learning style they have, their strengths as well as their weaknesses, and know what accommodations they will need. These students should know their rights, be able to discuss the accommodations, and know how to carry on a conversation and convince the college of their need. Some Disabled Student Services are knowledgeable and helpful to  students on the autism spectrum, others are still more comfortable with students that have a physically challenging condition, and have a difficult time with those who have an ‘invisible disability’.

All students on the spectrum need to learn self-advocacy skills,  but those heading to college need to learn them before they  graduate. If you are a parent or an educator of a high school student,  have self-advocacy goals addressed in the  IEP (Individualized Educational Program) or ITP  (Individualized Educational Program).  High school is the best place for him or her to start learning these skills, if he or she  has not already done so. For some information on transitioning from high school to college, check out  Catching the Wave from Grossmont College, a community college in the San Diego area. Some of the resources and facts may apply only to California, but there is a lot of good information for high school educators and parents to consider.

Jeremy Sicile-Kira

Jeremy Sicile-Kira

An Interesting Read: Create Your Own Economy by Tyler Cowen

October 16, 2010

About a year ago, this book arrived on my doorstep and although I was intrigued by the title, I wondered why I was being sent a book about economy by my publisher.  I was busy writing 41 Things to Know About Autism so I put it aside. Today, heading out the door to catch a plane for a speaking engagement in Grand Junction, Colorado, I grabbed it to read on the plane. I thought it would be nice to read something different from my usual repast of autism books.

Create Your Own Economy: The Path to Prosperity in a Disordered World, is a misleading title because this book doesn’t seem to have much to do with economy but does talk a lot about how as individuals we organize information these days and how this relates to autism in the writer’s mind. Tyler Crowen, a behavioral economist, writes about how people with autism organize and manipulate information, how our consumption of information is changing, and how the way we organize these information bites are reminiscent of autistic thinking. A very interesting read, Tyler has many positive things to say about autism and how it should  be discussed not as a disability, but rather as an ability and an asset to society. Although I agree in principle, I only have to think about how much help my son needs at 21 due to his autism and how much it is costing the state and the family for him to live due to his need for 24 hour supports. That’s the reality of his economy – and mine – at the moment.

That being said, I agree with much of what Crowen has to say, and it would be nice if society had more his viewpoint when looking at some of the ‘quirkiness’ or ‘obsessions’ of those on the spectrum. Crowen became interested in autism when a reader of his blog wrote  telling him he sounded like he had a lot of Aspie or autistic traits. So Crowen began to read about autism. He states at the beginning of the book,  “As I read more, I began to see that the autistic mind-set about engaging with information is a powerful way to understand the whole world around us. Especially now.”

Read it for a fresh look at autism, and how the way we use and analyze information now is more like our loved ones on the spectrum.

Back to School 101: Tips for General Education Teachers About Students with Asperger’s Syndrome

October 13, 2010

This is from my Psychology Today blog published September 9, 2010

Often junior high and high school teachers have teenagers with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) included in their classrooms, and are not given much in the way of useful information. Here I hope to provide a few practical tips that may be helpful to educators with no practical knowledge about students on the spectrum.

Parents, you may wish to print this out to give to your child’s teacher, or send them the link. There are only a few tips here, but usually teachers are receptive so practical information that may help them to understand and reach their student.

Asperger’s or High Functioning Autism (HFA) is often described as an ‘invisible disability’ because students on the spectrum do not look different frorm most students. Most teachers expect them to act like everyone else, but often the student gets in trouble for behaving in a way that seems rude, disruptive or non-compliant. A diagnosis of Asperger’s or HFA is based on challenges in the areas of communication, and social relationships, as well as what appears to be an obsession or passion for a particular area of interest.

Here are some tips that may help the school year go a little easier for you and your student on the spectrum:

* It’s a good idea to have a hard copy of the homework assignment to hand to your students on the spectrum, because most of them are mono-channel, meaning they have only one other processing channels (auditory or visual) working effectively at one time. This means they cannot look at the assignment on the board, write it down and still be able to focus on what you are saying. By the time they have finished copying down the assignment, they have missed your intro to that day’s lesson. This mono-channel aspect makes it hard for a student to multi-task, and by only requiring him/her to do one thing at a time, it will be much easier for the student to be focused on the day’s lesson.

* The student with Asperger’s or HFA usually takes things literally – this is part of the communication challenge. For example, if you address the class by saying “Please turn to page 12,” expecting the students to start doing the work on that page, the Aspie student may turn to page 12, and then just sit there, awaiting further instruction. Meanwhile, you may think he is being a smart-aleck, but I assure you, he is not. You need to say “Please turn to page 12 and write the answers to question 1-5 in your notebook.”

* This taking things literally means that also the student may not understand all the nuances of language or social customs, what we call ‘hidden curriculum.’ Think of what it is like as a foreigner in a new land and how they need to be explained the local customs- that is what it is like for a person on the spectrum.

* Students on the spectrum are often described as being obsessed with a particular topic or subject, for example, space travel, buildings, certain types of music, transportation. Actually, being passionate about a topic shows an interest in learning. If you know what your student is passionate about, you can relate your lessons or subject in some way to his area of interest and your student will excel.

* Many students on the spectrum are overly sensitive to noise and crowds, making transition times between classrooms difficult. By allowing the student to arrive or leave a few minutes early or late, you will make it much easier for that student to arrive to class less stressed, and ready to focus on the lesson.

Students with Asperger’s Syndrome or HFA are usually very bright and eager to learn. Hopefully these tips will help the year be a more productive one for you and your student.

Back to School 101 : How parents of ASD teens can get prepared for the school year

September 3, 2010

Here’s a column I wrote for the Examiner.com and still useful for this new school year!

Aug 27   Holy Moly – can you believe the summer break is just about over??  In last week’s column, Back to School : How to prepare your teen, tips for preparing your teen on the spectrum for the new school year were discussed. In this column, some ideas on  how parents can best be prepared for the new school year  are covered.  These tips are from both the “Back to School Guide” put together by A2Z Educational Advocates based in Pacific Palisades, and from my book “Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum.”

  • Perhaps it seems obvious, but contact your school if you have not been informed of your teen’s  schedule or the name of the teacher(s), classroom(s), bell schedule, district and master schedule for the new school year. Sometimes, these are not known till the last minute and the school administrators are dealing with many issues – budget cuts, union and staffing concerns, etc. But, by asking politely and reminding them that you need to ‘prime’ your teen about where he needs to be, who he will see, what the schedule is for the first day of school, you can reasonably hope to get an answer.
  • Review your teen’s  IEP document to refresh your memory about what the goals are. If you have any questions as to how the IEP will be implemented, get a list going to communicate your questions to the person responsible.
  • If your teen is to receive aide support as stipulated by the IEP, it would be a good idea to contact the administrator to insure that an aide has been assigned. If specific training has been specified in the IEP,   ask  if the aide has been trained or when the training will take place.
  • If your teen receives related services at school such as occupational therapy and/ or speech therapy, make sure you are aware of when and where he is receiving the services and that it is in line with the IEP. If the services are provided outside of the school day, contact the non-public agency providing the service to ensure an appropriate time is scheduled for your teen.
  • This is a good time to ensure any records regarding your son and his educational needs are in order. Filing everything (IEPs, assessments, correspondence) in one 3-ring binder in chronological order is most helpful as it provides easy access when you need to find a particular document.
  • If your child is fully included, or has a new special education or resource teacher, it is helpful to provide the teacher with a one-page positive overview about your teen, and ensure that the teacher is aware of the IEP goals and objectives. Your teen may wish to write his own note to the teacher.
  • Self –advocacy is a skill that should be developed in every teenager. When situations come up in regards to information that needs to be shared with the teacher and classmates, or situations arise that need to be resolved, think of ways   your teen take part in that process, and bit by bit, to take more ownership of it, depending upon his/her ability level.

In my next column, some strategies to help general education teachers who have students on the spectrum included in their class will be shared.

NY National Autism Association Presentations

September 3, 2010

This summer Jeremy and I went to New York and presented to the local chapters of the National Autism Association in July 2010. Many wanted copies of the presentations we gave. The presentations are embedded below, after the break.  You may download each by clicking on the download option in the viewer. Please do not reprint without permission. Continue reading »

Autism Life Skills

July 20, 2010

Teacher: “What are your greatest dreams about your future?”

Jeremy: “I want to have my own house with roommates, good friends,

a fun job and be learning.”

Teacher: “What are your greatest fears about your future?”

Jeremy: “That I will not have enough money.”

Teacher: “What barriers might get in the way of accomplishing your goals?”

Jeremy: “You know I need good helpers. I need people that respect my intelligence.”

-Interview with Jeremy Sicile-Kira

Transition Year 2007-08

With two teenagers who will soon be out of school, there has been much reflection and soul searching taking place in my home lately as to whether or not we’ve made the right decisions as parents over the years. Rebecca, our  neurotypical teenager, has just started driving and is becoming more independent. In hindsight, there is not much I would do differently if we had to start raising her all over again.

My thoughts concerning Jeremy, our 19-year-old son with autism, are somewhat  different. Those who have seen him on the MTV True Life segment “I Have Autism” will remember his can-do spirit and his determination to connect with other people, but also how challenged he is by his autism. Obviously, there are many more options available to help people like Jeremy today than when he was a baby. Over the last few years, as we considered how to best prepare Jeremy for the adult life he envisioned, I wondered what we could have or should have done differently when he was younger.

This led me to think: What would today’s adults on the autism spectrum point to as the most  important factors in their lives while they were growing up? What has made the most impact on their lives as adults in terms of how they were treated and what they were taught as children? What advice did they have to offer on how we could help the children of today? I decided to find out. I interviewed a wide-range of people—some considered by neurotypical standards as “less able,” “more able” and in-between; some who had been diagnosed as children; and some diagnosed as adults.

The result of these conversations and e-mails became the basis of my latest book, Autism Life Skills: From Communication and Safety to Self-Esteem and More—10 Essential Abilities Your Child Needs and Deserves to Learn (Penguin, October 2008). Although some areas discussed seemed obvious on the surface, many conversations gave me the “why” as to the challenges they faced, which led to discussions about what was and was not helpful to them. No matter the differences in their perceived ability levels, the following 10 skill areas were important to all.

Sensory Processing

Making sense of the world is what most adults conveyed to me as the most frustrating area they struggled with as children, and that impacted every aspect of their lives: relationships, communication, self-awareness, safety and so on. Babies and toddlers learn about the world around them through their senses. If these are not working properly and are not in synch, they acquire a distorted view of the world around them and also of themselves.

Most parents and educators are familiar with how auditory and visual processing challenges can impede learning in the classroom. Yet, for many, sensory processing difficulties are a lot more complicated and far reaching. For example, Brian King, a licensed clinical social worker who has Asperger’s, explains that body and spatial awareness are difficult for him because the part of his brain that determines where his body is in space (propioception) does not communicate with his vision. This means that when he walks he has to look at the ground because otherwise he would lose his sense of balance.

Donna Williams, Ph.D., bestselling author and self-described “Artie Autie,” had extreme sensory processing challenges as a child and still has some, but to a lesser degree. Donna talks about feeling a sensation in her stomach area, but not knowing if it means her stomach hurts because she is hungry or if her bladder is full. Other adults mention that they share the same problem, especially when experiencing sensory overload in crowded, noisy areas. Setting their cell phones to ring every two hours to  prompt them to use the restroom helps them to avoid embarrassing situations.

Many adults found it difficult to tolerate social situations. Some adults discussed how meeting a new person could be overwhelming—a different voice, a different smell and a different visual stimulus—meaning that difficulties with social relationships were not due simply to communication, but encompassed the total sensory processing experience. This could explain why a student can learn effectively or communicate with a familiar teacher or paraprofessional, but not a new one.

The most helpful strategy was knowing in advance where they were going, who they were going to see and what was going to happen, so that they could anticipate and prepare themselves for the sensory aspects of their day. Other strategies included changing their diet, wearing special lenses, having a sensory diet (activities done on a regular basis to keep from experiencing sensory overload), undergoing auditory and vision therapy, as well as desensitization techniques.

Communication

The ability to communicate was the second most important area of need cited by adults. All people need a form of communication to express their needs, in order to have them met. If a child does not have an appropriate communication system, he or she will learn to communicate through behavior (screaming or throwing a tantrum in order to express pain or frustration), which may not be appropriate, but can be effective. Sue Rubin, writer and star of the documentary “Autism is a World,” is a non-verbal autistic college student and disability advocate. She often speaks about the impact of communication on behavior. She shares that as she learned to type she was able to explain to others what was causing her behaviors and to get help in those areas. In high school, typing allowed her to write her own social stories and develop her own behavior plans. As her communication skills increased, her inappropriate behaviors decreased.

Those with Asperger’s and others on the more functionally able end of the spectrum may have more subtle communication challenges, but these are just as important for surviving in a neurotypical world. Many tend to have trouble reading body language and understanding implied meanings and metaphors, which can lead to frustration and misunderstanding. Michael Crouch, the college postmaster at the Crown College of the Bible in Tennessee, credits girls with helping him develop good communication skills. Some of his areas of difficulty were speaking too fast or too low, stuttering and poor eye contact. When he was a teenager, five girls at his church encouraged him to join the choir and this experience helped him overcome some of his difficulties. Having a group of non-autistic peers who shared his interests and provided opportunities for modeling and practicing good communication skills helped Michael become the accomplished speaker he is today.

Safety

Many on the spectrum had strong feelings about the issue of safety. Many remember not having a notion of safety when little, and putting themselves in unsafe situations due to sensory processing challenges. These challenges prevented them from feeling when something was too hot or too cold, if an object was very sharp or from “seeing” that it was too far to jump from the top of a jungle gym to the ground below.

Many adults described feeling terrified during their student years, and shared the fervent hope that with all the resources and knowledge we now have today’s students would not suffer as they had.  Practically all recounted instances of being bullied. Some said they had been sexually or physically abused, though some did not even realize it at the time. Others described how their teacher’s behaviors contributed directly or indirectly to being bullied. For example, Michael John Carley, Executive Director of GRASP and author of Asperger’s From the Inside Out, recalls how his teachers made jokes directed at him during class, which encouraged peer disrespect and led to verbal bullying outside the classroom.

A school environment that strictly enforced a no-tolerance bullying policy would have been extremely helpful, according to these adults. Sensitizing other students as to what autism is, teaching the child on the spectrum about abusive behavior, and  providing him/her with a safe place and safe person to go to at school would have helped as well. Teaching them the “hidden curriculum,” so they could have understood what everyone else picked up by osmosis would have given them a greater understanding of the social world and made them less easy prey.

Self-Esteem

Confidence in one’s abilities is a necessary precursor to a happy adult life. It is clear that those who appear self-confident and have good self-esteem tend to have had a few things in common while growing up. The most important factor was parents or caretakers who were accepting of their child, yet expected them to reach their potential and sought out ways to help them. Kamran Nazeer, author of Send in the Idiots: Stories from the Other Side of Autism, explains that having a relationship with an adult who was more neutral and not as emotionally involved as a parent is important as well. Parents naturally display a sense of expectations, while a teacher, mentor or a therapist can be supportive of a child and accepting of his/her behavioral and social challenges. Relationships with non-autistic peers, as well as autistic peers who share the same challenges were also important to developing confidence.

Pursuing Interests

This is an area that many people on the spectrum are passionate about. For many, activities are purpose driven or interest driven, and the notion of doing something just because it feels good, passes the time of day or makes you happy is not an obvious one. Zosia Zaks, author of Life and Love: Positive Strategies for Autistic Adults, told me that, as a child, she had no idea that she was supposed to be “having fun”—that there were activities that people participated in just for fun. It was one of those things about neurotypical living that no one ever explained to her.

As students, some of these adults were discouraged from following their obsessive  (positive translation: passionate) interest. Others were encouraged by parents and teachers who understood the value of using their interest to help them learn or develop a job skill. For example, when he was little, author and advocate Stephen Shore used to take apart and put together his timepieces. Years later, this interest was translated into paid work repairing bicycles at a bike store.

Self-Regulation

Respondents believed this is a necessary skill for taking part in community life. Many children on the spectrum suffer from sensory overload. It can also be difficult for them to understand what they are feeling and how to control their emotional response. Dena Gassner, MSW, who was diagnosed as an adult, believes it is necessary for children to be able to identify their “triggers” and that parents and educators should affirm to the child that whatever he or she is feeling is important. Even if it does not make sense to the adult, whatever the child is feeling is true for him or her. Various methods can be used to help them become more self-aware over time, to recognize when they are approaching sensory or emotional overload and to communicate the need for a break. As they get older, giving them more responsibility for scheduling their own breaks and choosing their own appropriate coping strategy can be very empowering.

Independence

Independence is an important goal, but may take longer than expected. Zosia Zaks told me that parents of children with autism need to realize and accept that they will be parenting for a lot longer than parents of neurotypical children. She has a point, but I never thought I’d still be discussing certain self-care issues when my son was old enough to vote. For many that I interviewed, some skill acquisition came later in life, and many are still improving themselves and their essential skills. This is nice to know because so often, as parents and educators, we hear about the “windows of opportunity” in terms of age and can become discouraged by our own inner cynics and other well-meaning doubters (“If they haven’t learned by now….”).

When discussing self-sufficiency, many stated that the two greatest challenges were executive functioning  (being able to get and stay organized) and sensory processing. Doing chores and establishing routines helped some as children to learn organizational skills and responsibility—two essential foundations for self-sufficiency.

Social Relationships

Relationships are important to all human beings, but are difficult for many on the spectrum. The adults I communicated with make it clear they enjoy having relationships, including those who are mostly non-verbal, such as Sue Rubin and D.J. Savarese (who wrote the last chapter of Reasonable People). However, understanding the concept of different types of relationships and knowing the appropriate behaviors and conversations expected does not come naturally, and can be magnified for those who are non-verbal.

Many adults, such as Dena Gassner and Zosia Zaks, discussed the importance of teaching children interdependence skills—how to ask for help, how to approach a store clerk, how to network as they get older. For them, interdependence did not come as easily as it does for neurotypicals. Yet, asking people for assistance—what aisle the cookies are located in, the name of a plumber when your sink is stopped up, letting people know you are looking for a job or apartment—is how social and community life functions.

Self-Advocacy

Effective self-advocacy entails a certain amount of disclosure. All of the adults I spoke with believed that children should be told about their diagnosis in a positive manner. Michael John Carley, who was diagnosed following the diagnosis of his son, says he always felt different than others. Getting a diagnosis was liberating because then he knew why he felt different. On the topic of disclosure to others, some believe in full disclosure to all, while others choose to disclose only the area of difficulty.

Like many her age, Kassiane Alexandra Sibley, who wrote a chapter of the book Ask and Tell,  was improperly diagnosed before discovering at age 18 that she had an autism spectrum disorder. She had to learn self-advocacy skills the hard way. Like many I spoke with, Kassiane believes that teaching children when they are young to speak up for themselves is the most important gift we can give them.

Earning a Living

This is an issue of major concern for many on the spectrum. Some of the adults I spoke with struggled for years before finding an area in which they could work. The life skills discussed earlier in this article impact tremendously on a person’s ability to find, get and keep a job. Many people on the spectrum continue to be unemployed or underemployed, which means we need to rethink our approach in how we are transitioning our youth from being students to being contributing members of society.

Temple Grandin, who co-authored the book Developing Talents, says that parents should help their children develop their natural talents and that young people need mentors to give them guidance and valuable experience. Authors John Elder Robinson (Look Me in the Eye) and Daniel Tammet (Born on a Blue Day) both credit their Asperger’s for giving them the talents on which they have based their successful businesses. For those whose talents are less obvious, a look at the community they live in and the service needs that exist there can be an option for creating an opportunity to earn money.  My son Jeremy and his teacher created a sandwich-delivery business and a flower business on his high school campus as part of his work experience. Customized employment, including self-employment, is an option that, with careful planning and implementation, can be a solution for some.

In retrospect, there are different choices I could have made  in raising and educating Jeremy these past 19 years. However, after conversations and e-mails with many  different adults on the spectrum, I have concluded that there is one factor I would not have changed, the formula I used for providing a solid foundation for both of my children: Take equal parts love, acceptance and expectation, and mix well.

This first appeared in the Advocate Magazine in 2008, published by the National  Autism Society of America

Liberté, égalité, fraternité – Happy Bastille Day!

July 14, 2010

In honor of Bastille Day, I am posting my Huffington Post piece on Autism and Education in France published on June 14, 2010 (one month ago).   France is moving slowly, but at least forward, to have Liberté, égalité, fraternité for children and adults  with autism in France.

French flag - le bleu, blanc, rouge

Photo from www.freefoto.com

Recently I was invited to Paris to present at a prestigious international colloquium on autism and education, which was organized by the INS HEA, the French Ministry of Education’s training institute for special education teachers. Seventeen years earlier, I had left France because in those days, children with autism did not have the right to an education, and my son, Jeremy, was severely impacted by autism.

It was an emotional moment for me, standing there, addressing 500 attendees in a lecture hall of the Universite Paris Descatres in Bolulogne – Billancourt, explaining my son’s educational experience in the United States, where all children have the right to a free and appropriate education under IDEA.

In 1993, my family left France, where we had been living since 1981. Both Jeremy and his sister, Rebecca (who is neurotypical), were born in Paris at the time when children with autism were considered mentally ill, not developmentally disabled. They had no right to an education. Instead, they were enrolled in day programs on hospital sites, where they were treated with psychoanalysis. Parents had no right to visit the day program, nor did they receive any communication about what went on during the hours their child spent there.

When Jeremy showed autistic tendencies, I was told by the powers that be to take him to see a psychoanalyst. The psychoanalyst concluded that Jeremy was autistic because he suffered separation issues from breast-feeding. This the analyst gleaned from watching him spin round objects (which reminded him of his mother’s breasts) and chase after one that he had “lost” when it fell and rolled under a piece of furniture.

The French genetic specialist who handed me my son’s diagnosis, also handed me some advice. She told me to look for and find a good institution for Jeremy. I have — it’s called public school. On June 18th, both Jeremy and Rebecca will be graduating from high school. Jeremy will have taken seven years to do so, in comparison to Rebecca’s four. I am equally proud of both of them.

I am not sharing this information to knock the French; I have heard similar stories in the UK and in the US: Parents seeking help were often blamed for their child’s autism and were given no hope and no answers. The big difference however, is that back then there were no French laws allowing children with autism to be educated; and now there are.

Yes, the laws have changed in France, and now things are beginning to move slowly but surely. Not fast enough for all the families in need of an education for their child, but at least it is moving forward.

During the two day colloquium, there were presentations by teachers and other educators, parents, principals from different schools and different regions of France, sharing their successful experiences of how they were educating students with autism in their schools and classrooms. It was wonderful to hear the passion these people shared. We also heard presenters from Italy, Belgium, Sweden, Canada and Brazil. It was apparent that no matter what country or region, student success was based on the same foundation in all countries: parents who fight for the rights of their children, administrators who believe in these students and support their placement, trained staff who are enthusiastic and creative about teaching, good teamwork and communication between the school and the parents, and clear goals that are shared by all.

After my presentation, a gentleman came up to me and said,

“Madame, do you remember me? Do the words Notre Ecole mean anything to you? I was the director of that school.”

I was surprised, and then I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony of it all. Notre Ecole was the only institution in Paris at the time 19 years ago that were accepting children with autism and were teaching them (using TEACCH), as opposed to just providing psychoanalysis. I had hoped to get Jeremy into Notre Ecole, but it had not been possible. Perhaps, if he had gotten into Notre Ecole, I would never have left France. I would not have written the books that I have, as it was my frustration that inspired me to write books in order to provide hope and information to save other parents a little grief. My son certainly would not be graduating from high school in a few days, if he had gotten into that school.

Things happen for a reason.

It Takes An Army

June 13, 2010

Graduating high school was not one of the goals I had for Jeremy. Now he’s college bound.

In 2007, my son Jeremy walked the graduation ceremony at the local high school along with the other seniors from his severely handicapped class. On June 18, he will be walking the graduation ceremony again, in the same gold and scarlet robe he wore three years ago. This time however, he will have earned and will receive a full academic diploma. He has a GPA of 3.5. For me, this is unbelievable. Graduating high school was not one of the goals I had for Jeremy. The goals I had were mostly those based on functional living skills.

When Jeremy was diagnosed, I was told to find a good institution for him. I don’t think the medical professional who diagnosed him meant “college,” but that is where he is headed. People ask me how Jeremy made it to this point, and the truth is, there is no short answer. Like most parents, I started out hoping to find that “one thing” that was going to make a huge difference in Jeremy’s life, that would improve his chances of overcoming the challenges he faced. But I soon realized that there is no magic bullet.

Jeremy, now 21, has received numerous treatments, therapies, and educational strategies (some of which he still continues) with acronyms such as ABA, TEACCH, OT, SI, AIT, VT, RPM, and some biomedical interventions including methyl B12, HBOT and more. All of them have helped somewhat, some more than others. But the most important ingredient to Jeremy’s success has been the same that it is for all of us: having the right people as teachers and mentors – people who believe in you, who motivate you to do your best. People who see beyond the label and who are willing to see the person. People who are willing to try different ways of reaching and connecting with the student, when the traditional ones do not appear to be working.

Any tasks requiring motor planning and sensory processing have always been extremely difficult for Jeremy. My office is full of binders that include Jeremy’s task analysis and data sheets for all kinds of skill acquisition such as fastening pants and brushing teeth. When he was younger, many educators and other professionals took Jeremy’s inability to respond as a lack of intelligence, rather than as challenges due to visual processing issues and difficulties in initiating and controlling his motor planning. Teaching methods based on visual strategies did not work with Jeremy. He is not a visual learner, and his visual processing was not working correctly, but no one recognized that at the time.

When he started high school, Jeremy attended a class for the severely handicapped at the local school. When Jeremy’s teacher, Rachel Page, came to our house for a home visit and saw how I was teaching Jeremy to point to letters to spell words. Jeremy had been taught by Soma Mukhopadhyay twice a month, over a period of 14 months, using the Rapid Prompting Method she had developed, and I continued to work with Jeremy using this method of teaching. Rachel tried what she had observed at school and was successful. By then, I had had enough battles with the powers that be to even consider asking them to use an unknown method to try and teach Jeremy. (The year before, Jeremy had come home from the middle school with rug burns on his chest and back inflicted unknowingly by an inexperienced occupational therapist, and had ended up filing for due process when the school district refused to provide training. At the IEP meeting I had requested, the OT said she didn’t need anymore training. No comment.) I had decided to do what I did at home and to just focus on Jeremy having a safe environment at school and coming home unmarked.

Rachel then invited me to the classroom to show her and Jeremy’s paraprofessionals how I was teaching Jeremy at home. At an IEP meeting, it was decided by the IEP team to allow Jeremy to attend one general education class on a trial basis. This was a major victory for Jeremy at this school district at that time.
Jeremy’s most important growth period came over the next three years, thanks to Allan Gustafson. Allan was Jeremy’s second teacher in the SH classroom and is the best teacher that Jeremy has ever had. He helped Jeremy—and all his students—grow not only intellectually, but emotionally as well. To give you an idea of the type of teacher Allan is, read Allan’s assessment of Jeremy for an Individualized Transition Plan (ITP) meeting in 2006. It says it all about the type of person he is:

“Jeremy is a complicated young man who people cannot judge on appearance. A good metaphor would be to describe Jeremy like as an artichoke. Each leaf on the artichoke has to be taken separately, each having its own characteristics. As you go through each layer of the leaves, it becomes more apparent that there might be something inside, something worth getting to. It takes time to get there, but there is a heart inside, worth the time and effort to expose, as some people say is the prize for the patience of delving through the layers of leaves. Jeremy is this man.”

In June 2007, Jeremy was technically a senior and it was time for him to attend the off-site transition program, thus his participation in the high school graduation ceremony. By that time, Jeremy had made it clear that he enjoyed learning, and wanted to continue learning even if he was no longer on a high school campus. Some of his IEP goals by then included preparing him for taking the GED sometime down the line while attending community college. It was clear that he was capable of doing that, although I would never have though that possible a few years earlier.

However, Jeremy did not handle the transfer out of high school into the transition program well at all. Meanwhile, my father was dying from lung cancer and I was traveling a lot to helping him and my mom, who lived two hours away. I wasn’t able to work towards changing the situation. Bruce Cochrane, an administrator new to the school district (now head of Pupil Services), became concerned about the complete change in Jeremy, from a model special education student to a non-compliant, unhappy and disruptive person. Bruce started asking questions, studying Jeremy’s school records, interviewing teachers, observing Jeremy. Jeremy, still considered a transition student, was moved back to the high school where his behavior improved. He continued on a couple of workability projects, but started taking general education classes again.

Then, at an IEP meeting, Bruce brought up the question – was Jeremy interested in working towards obtaining his diploma? According to Jeremy’s official transcripts, Jeremy needed more credits in certain subject areas, and he needed to pass the California High School Exit Exam, which is routinely given to tenth grade students. Students are allowed six chances to pass this test. The IEP team recommended that the test be given to Jeremy the first time as a baseline, if he was interested in trying to get his diploma. Jeremy surprised us all by passing on his first attempt all the parts of the test he was given. However, for some reason, the school did not administer the essay part of the test, and Jeremy had to retake the complete English section of the test a few months later. Again he passed. Since then, he has steadily been taking two classes a semester towards his diploma.

This June, I am doubly blessed. Not only is Jeremy graduating from Torrey Pines High School, his sister, Rebecca, is graduating from the other high school in our area, Canyon Crest Academy. I am proud of both of them, and thankful for the educators that have crossed their paths, not to mention the army of paraprofessionals, therapists, support staff and other professionals who have joined us on our journey. Clearly, there is not one magic bullet. Rather, it takes an army, and we will never forget them.

This article was first published in Spectrum Magazine, June/July 2010 issue.

« Newer Posts Older Posts »