Attitude is Key

Rebecca and Jeremy Sicile-Kira, high school graduation, June 2010

 

“Tell him every day that you love him, and that you know he is smart.”

This is what Jeremy, my then 21-year-old son, responded to a mother asking for his advice. She wrote to Jeremy, telling him she had a non-verbal 12-year-old, and she was worried about what he was thinking and how he was feeling. She wanted to know what she could do for him until he was able to communicate his thoughts.

Reading Jeremy’s response brought back memories. Every night for many years, while tucking Jeremy into bed, I would tell him those two important facts.  I never realized the positive impact repeating those words to him every night would have on his self-esteem. I just told him how I felt, just as I would tell his sister, Rebecca.

Jeremy is now 29, and communicates mainly by typing or points to letters on a letter board.  Despite his challenges, Jeremy graduated 8 years ago from high school with a full academic diploma (watch his  commencement speech). Jeremy’s success is no miracle; rather it is a story of hard work and commitment on the part of many people. The one who has worked the hardest is Jeremy. My goal for him was to reach his potential – whatever that was – and to be able to communicate with those around him.  Since graduation, Jeremy has co-authored the book  A Full Life with Autism (Macmillan) and is a gifted artist.

When Jeremy was little, we lived in France and in the UK. We had no early intervention; we had very little help or encouragement from the powers that be. Basically, I was on my own and I had to figure out how to help him. At first I just read to Jeremy and showed him pictures and tried whatever I could to reach him; then I tried different methods I heard about that made sense for him. But I always presumed competence and spoke to him as if he understood everything. I was convinced he did.

For the past 15 years  Jeremy has been able to  type and communicate about his life and what he experienced as a child, what  autism felt like to him, and in what ways the different therapies helped (or didn’t).   I have found out more about what was really helpful to him. Some of his comments are very specific, others are general such as this:

My mom saved me from a life of despair. Her attitude is the key to my success. She made me feel like I could be a success no matter my challenges. Basically, if it was not for my nice mom and great teachers, my life would not be worth living. They believed in me and that has made the biggest impact—more than the type of teaching methods used.

As parents and educators, we spend a lot of time talking about educational methods, but not much about attitude. Yet, when I interviewed people on different parts of the spectrum for my third book, Autism Life Skills, they, like Jeremy, often discussed the importance of their parents’ attitude to their success. Daniel Tammet, author of Born on a Blue Day, has this to say about his parents:

In spite of all my many problems, they loved me unconditionally and devoted themselves to helping me – little by little, day by day. They are my heroes.

The message is clear. Yes, we need the right educational environment for our children. And unfortunately, many children on the spectrum do not get much positive feedback at school or in the community on a regular basis. But if you are a parent, take heart in knowing that your child’s self-esteem benefits greatly from your loving and positive attitude. Knowing his parents are there for him, that they believe in him and in his ability to learn, can make a world of difference to a child’s state of mind.

Show Yourself Some Love : The Importance of Self-Care for Caregivers

Those who followed my blog in the past may have noticed a lot less activity in recent years. In the fall of 2014 my son Jeremy moved out of the family home and into supported living, and found an art studio where he could paint. It has been a wonderful journey helping Jeremy create the life he dreamed of. In 2016 he had his first curated art show (which was a huge success) followed by more shows.

Then, in January 2017 I suffered a concussion when my car was hit by a truck. I spent all of  2017 following my medical team’s advice. At first it meant no activity and no screen time, followed by  various therapies, more rest and restricted screen time. Now, over a year later, I am not yet 100% recovered, but I am driving again, and I am finally able to write and speak professionally once again – although at a slower pace.

One of the results of my car accident was that I was forced to do nothing but take care of myself on a daily basis.  As a parent of a wonderful young person – Jeremy- who requires 24 hour supports, I had in the past ‘stolen’ the time to re-boot and decompress – parents with their children still at home will get this – 10 mins here, 20 mins there,  “date night”  when respite was available. As well, my mind was rarely still – I loved writing and speaking and volunteering to help others – I was always actively solving challenges and creating solutions in my head. That’s how Jeremy ended up having the skills to communicate, and discovering his gift of painting: because  I never gave up on him even if others did and I found solutions to many of his challenges. I remember getting up very early before dawn to work on a book, then going for a run or walk outside before my husband left to go to work and before I got the kids up and off to school. I always practiced some self-care that I enjoyed – I loved getting up early and seeing the night become day – I’m definitely a morning person. But I also knew that if I didn’t do it early in the day while everyone was asleep – I met not get another chance. I never knew what the day would bring.

The car accident forced me to  only take care of myself and let others take care of me as well. Meditations, connecting more with my intuition and spiritual self, massages to help my body heal, and all the necessary therapies (including physical, vestibular, vision, speech) to create new connections really made me focus on ME. And you know what? The world did not fall apart – Jeremy had a very, very  rough time for the first two months, and so did I. But we survived.

Meditation has been a daily habit for me for some time, except for about the first six months after my concussion when I could not focus. the When Jeremy was in his early twenties and  still living at home he started to have more anxiety (on top of the PTSD from past traumatic experiences). It’s a known fact that many teens and young adults on the spectrum have high levels of anxiety. At that time, I realized that Jeremy also had great visualization skills,  so I thought why not have him try meditation? He doesn’t necessarily always sit calmly to listen, but he is still able to meditate.

The first meditations he ever enjoyed were some Deepak & Oprah 21 Day Meditation Experiences.  After taking part in free meditation challenges with intriguing titles such as  Perfect Health Meditations; Finding Your Flow Meditation Challenge, Jeremy would tell me which ones he wanted to listen to again and we would buy them so he could access them at any time.

There has been an interesting side effect to Jeremy’s daily meditation habit. Jeremy is very susceptible to the energy level of whichever  Team Member is supporting him that day. If the person is feeling anxious or stressed, Jeremy feels it.  While Jeremy is meditating, the Team Member who is  listening to the meditation with him usually benefits as well:  Jeremy feels them becoming more relaxed and calm as well. Everyone benefits!

Although I loved the Deepak and Oprah meditation series, I had never visited the Chopra Center. I knew it was somewhere in my area and realized people flew in from all over to take part in retreats and consult with the Mind – Body Medical Group. But it wasn’t until very recently that I learned that there were opportunities for those living close by to go to their take yoga and meditation classes, and to enjoy different Ayurvedic massage treatments.

My message to you today is: make self-care a priority.  Take care of yourself; no-one else will. Show yourself some love. Find what you can do on a regular basis  to keep your body and  mind healthy and your connection to Spirit / God alive. You’ll be happier, healthier and grateful you did.

More Than Just Coping: Empowerment Strategies for Parents

Jeremy Sicile-Kira - then

Jeremy Sicile-Kira – then

Yesterday I presented at IEP Day (Involved Exceptional Parents’ Day Conference) in San Diego. I  promised to post some information here for participants, so they could easily access some links to free information. Feel free to pass this to other parents who need the information.

As a parent of a newly diagnosed child with special needs, it is not always easy. As we discussed yesterday, you may be feeling very emotional and upset, and that is normal. Remember, you are not alone. Many parents have been there before, and joining support groups with parents can be very helpful. You can share information.

Remember, you may be eligible for services and sometimes things go smoothly, sometimes they do not, and every school district is different. You will have to learn to be an advocate for your child. Knowing your rights is important. You will get services based on facts, not emotions.

In each state, there is information available for free to help you know your rights and responsibilities as a parent of a child with a disability, or a person with a disability. In some states it is called Protection and Advocacy; in California it is Disability Rights California   http://www.disabilityrightsca.org.

There is a lot of information on that website, and great publications you can read on different rights and responsibilities you have. For example, If you want information as a parent of a child who receives special education services, click on “Publications and Resources” at the top http://www.disabilityrightsca.org/pubs/PublicationsIndex.htm.   You can see the list of publications that explain in simple language what the laws mean. If English is not your native language, you can click on the language you want to read the document in (Spanish, Korean, etc). You want to read “The Special Education Rights and Responsibilities (SERR) in regards to special education.

Here is a series of blogposts I wrote specifically for parents of newly diagnosed children. This information is from my newly revised book, Autism Spectrum Disorder (2014). Although the book is specifically geared towards autism, the advice in the blogposts below is true for any new parent of a special needs child, especially # 1 and # 4.

1.  Advice for Parents of Newly Diagnosed Children with Autism http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-autism-advocate/201402/advice-parents-newly-diagnosed-children-autism

2.  New to Autism? Where to Go for Information http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-autism-advocate/201402/new-autism-where-go-information

3.  Newly Diagnosed Child With Autism? First Steps for Parents http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-autism-advocate/201402/newly-diagnosed-child-autism-first-steps-parents

4.   Parents New to Autism: More First Steps to Take http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-autism-advocate/201402/parents-new-autism-more-first-steps-take

You may also wish to sign up to receive free occasional newsletters from my website  AutismCollege.com – scroll down the home page.

If you want to see my son Jeremy’s commencement speech to hear his words, you will find it here: Autism: Transition to Adulthood: Jeremy Sicile-Kira’s High School Commencement Speech.

Even if your child cannot speak, it does not mean he or she does not understand. Speak in whatever language you are comfortable in. Research shows that hearing two languages does not impede understanding. Just be consistent in using the same language.

Remember: your child is different – but not less! Tell your child everyday that you love him or her. Read to your child, sing to your child. You are connecting with your child, and that is the most important ‘therapy’ in the world. Over time you will see that you are learning as much from him or her as your child is learning from you. never give up on your child!

Jeremy Sicile-Kira - now

Jeremy Sicile-Kira – now

People Creating Options: The Julie + Michael Tracy Family Foundation and Urban Autism Solutions

Be the change that you wish to see in the world – Mahatma Gandhi

Here at Autism College  we enjoy highlighting   people that  are working towards creating opportunities for those with autism. Here is a guest blog written by Michael Tracy, co-founder of the Julie + Michael Tracy Family Foundation (JMTF) and Urban Autism Solutions.  JMTF and Urban Solutions  exists to help address challenges  in regards to employment and housing that our young adults with autism face.

Julie and Michael Tracy

Julie and Michael Tracy

Julie and I are the parents of two sons, Joseph, 23, and John, 21. While Joe developed typically, John was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (Autism) in preschool. We tried hard to mainstream him, but John struggled socially. No amount of soccer or Boy Scouts or 4H seemed to help. It tore out hearts out to see him so isolated. In middle school, John developed schizoaffective disorder. By the time he reached his sophomore year in high school he had been hospitalized at least three times and we could see that a big change was needed.

In his sophomore year in high school, John was enrolled in the Sonia Shankman Orthogenic School, a residential, therapeutic school associated with the University of Chicago. In the spring of 2011 he had his most serious psychotic break and was hospitalized for five weeks at Rush Hospital on the Near West Side of Chicago. It was a pretty intense experience for John and our family. While Julie and I were very impressed with the care John was given at Rush, we learned of the need for more specific psychiatric and transitional care directed towards young adults with autism and comorbid mental health problems.

After John was released and back at the “O” School, we founded the Julie + Michael Tracy Family Foundation and Urban Autism Solutions to help address challenges facing young adults with autism. Learning that the vast majority of this population lives at home with their parents and often don’t hold jobs and/or have meaningful lives outside the home, we set out to work with Rush University Medical Center to establish the Autism Assessment Research and Treatment Service Center (AARTS) with the goal of working with young adults on the Spectrum to achieve better outcomes.

Urban Autism Solutions is currently the only organization dedicated to providing wrap around solutions and a path to a fully integrated community life. We plan to create a series of residences for young adults with autism on the near West Side of Chicago. We just purchased our first residence that will house three young adults with autism. The building is in close proximity to Rush, allowing easy access to the Rush AARTS Center. With public transportation, the city is a much more livable place for those like John who will probably never drive. The neighborhood is conducive to walking, as is close not only to Rush but also to the University of Illinois at Chicago, the restaurant district surrounding Taylor Street in Little Italy and the West Loop neighborhood to the north. In the midst of so many businesses and in the shadow of the downtown, we know there may be more opportunities for meaningful employment for John. Finally, an urban setting, due to its diverse populations, might allow for “quirky” young men to “fit in” better.

Another initiative of our foundation is to develop social enterprise businesses to provide vocational opportunities for young adults with autism, as well as returning vets and others who need workforce development. This past summer, we launched a pilot community vocational garden, housed in the Illinois Medical District, just west of Rush. Our goal was to learn about urban gardening, health and nutrition and to create a viable path to greater economic independence for this vulnerable population. In addition to harvesting an abundance of produce, all indications of our initial research and assessment of the first year success of this pilot program are very positive. We are busy planning a major expansion for Year Two and we are exploring selling our produce to an  institutional partner and at a local farmer’s market.

The long-term goal of the JMTF and Urban Autism Solutions is to provide a safe and supported passage to a fully integrated community life. Through our initiatives of residential housing, groundbreaking research, vocational opportunities and an alliance with the Rush AARTS Center, we know we are creating viable opportunities and solutions for young adults and families with autism. To find out more about our foundation, go to www.jmtf.org.

 

 

Need Information re Teens with Autism? Autism College course beginning Tuesday August 28

Are you a parent (or educator) of a pre-teen or teen? Do you wonder about how and when to explain puberty to your growing child? Are you at a loss about what to explain about the birds and the bees? Are you wondering what an ITP is and how to best prepare your child or student for adult life? Then the course Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum is for you.

Based on the award-winning book, more recent information, and Chantal Sicile-Kira’s popular national presentations, this interactive course will be taught on-line to a small group on Tuesday August 28, Wednesday August 29, Thursday August 30; from 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm PST (9:00-11:00 EST) for a fee. To sign up, go here.  Instructions will be sent to you within 24 hours of sign up.

The cost for the  6 hour- course over three days is  $99.00 and provides:

  • 6 hours of training
  • PowerPoints provided before the webinars to help with note taking.
  • The basics on what you need to know when your child or student (of different ability levels) is a pre-teen or teenager
  • Resources for more information on various topics
  • Opportunity for the participants to write in or call in their questions to Chantal.
  • BONUS: Written transcript booklet from the original live course  provided in March will be provided to those who sign up (a $39.00 value – see description in the Autism College store)
  • BONUS: Opportunity to watch replay of webinar at a later date (convenient if you miss a session).

Topics to be covered during the 6 hours include:

Adolescence 101: The Teen Basics :Everything you need to know (but don’t know who to ask)

  • 13 things every parent or educator needs to know
  • The general challenges faced by ASD teenagers
  • Sensory processing challenges in adolescence
  • Functional strategies to help with daily transitions
  • Family and sibling concerns
  • Teaching about puberty
  • Hygiene and self-care
  • Masturbation

Adolescence 102: Relationships: It’s Complicated

  • The notion of privacy and consent
  • Relationship boundaries
  • Sexuality
  • Self awareness
  • Self- regulation
  • Bullying
  • Interdependence

Adolescence 103: The Transition Years: Plan, Prepare, Practice for the Real World of Adult Life

  • Preparing the transition to High school
  • The ITP- Individual Transition Program and IEPs
  • Teaching life skills needed for work and / or college: self-esteem, self-advocacy, executive functioning, self-reliance
  • Building on strengths
  • The use of mentors

Sign up now to reserve your spot! Questions? Send us an email!

Praise for A Full Life with Autism

Lars Perner, Ph.D., Chair, Panel of People on the Spectrum of Autism Advisors for the Autism Society of America, and Assistant Professor of Clinical Marketing, USC, had this to say about A Full Life with Autism:

Each individual on the spectrum is unique and will need personally tailored supports.  At the same time, because of autism’s complexities and seemingly contradictory characteristics, it is often difficult to get a view of the “big picture” of a life on the spectrum and the challenges that it presents.  In their very comprehensive—yet highly readable—book, Chantal and Jeremy succeed in addressing both of these concerns.

Although ample resources for addressing the diverse needs of individuals on the spectrum are presented, the case Jeremy illustrates the types of challenges, surprises, and opportunities  that may come up as an individual develops.  Chantal talks about initially not expecting Jeremy even to finish high school and subsequently being able to help him not just graduate but go on to college.  An especially intriguing issue discussed involved helping Jeremy understand that a girlfriend is not something that can just be “hired” in the way that one can secure aides and support workers—an issue that only the most clairvoyant parent might have anticipated. Although optimistic and filled with humor, the book clearly acknowledges challenges that this family faced and those that will likely be faced by others—including obstacles to finding long term housing opportunities and healing from traumatic events.

Although much of the writing is done by Chantal, Jeremy is a consistent, creative, and innovative contributor, talking candidly about his own experiences that have led to the lists of tips that he presents.  I especially love his observation that rights of disabled individuals “are founded on the Fourteenth Amendment of the Constitution.”  The book’s extensive list of issues that may come up will unquestionable leave many families much better prepared for handling the challenges that will come up over the years.

More Rave Reviews: A Full Life with Autism

Elaine Hall,  creator of the Miracle Project, author of Now I See the Moon, co-author of Seven Keys to Unlock Autism and  subject of the movie “AUTISM: The Musical” has this to say about A Full Life with Autism:

A Full Life with Autism provides parents of teens on the autistic spectrum understanding, guidance, hope, and resources to navigate the uncharted territory of adult living.  Thank you, Chantal and Jeremy Sicile-Kira for responding to questions that so many of us parents are aching to know.  Thank you for brilliantly weaving  the parent perspective with Jeremy’s internal dialogue.  Thank you, Jeremy  for bravely articulating what is really going on inside the mind/body of someone with autism. I will use your words as starting points in my discussions with my own son, Neal.

A Full Life with Autism reminds us that the true “experts” on autism are our children; and that we, the adults, must listen to their wants and desires, then find the resources to help them realize their dreams.  I will be recommending this book to everyone I know.

 

 

A Full Life with Autism: Comments by Dr. Cathy Pratt

Unfortunately, many adults on the autism experience high rates of unemployment or underemployment.  Some of our most gifted live in poverty and have few options in life.   Chantal and Jeremy have creatively worked to create an engaged life for Jeremy and his family.   This book provides very practical ideas for transition planning and provides a template that others can use as they support adults moving into adulthood.   I highly recommend this for any family or individual as they  prepare for transition planning.

 

Dr. Cathy Pratt, BCBA-D, Director- Indiana Resource Center for Autism, Indiana Institute on Disability and Community; Former President of the Autism Society of America

Johnny Depp and My 2012 Goals

Someone I met recently commented that they noticed I had not posted a blog here since May 2011.  I can’t believe it’s been that long but  I’ve been busy co-authoring a book (yes, another autism book!).

But I’m back here today – because I woke up this morning from a really weird dream brought on by my daytime worries.  Even if the dream involved Johnny Depp (more on the dream, later),  obviously I am overwhelmed and stressed  – probably like many of you reading this. And I wanted to share something I hope will be helpful.

After I woke up from my dream (and got over the initial excitement of having visited with Johnny Depp while still in my own bed) I decided enough was enough, and that I had to start walking the talk I give autism parents about taking care of themselves.

So I decided to follow the advice of  Chris Brogan. I received an email describing how in the last few years Chris has skipped the tradition of creating New Year’s Resolutions (soon forgotten) and instead he  creates  three words that describe what he wants to focus on for the coming year.  I thought that was a great idea and could help my stress level.

Here are my three words: (none of which are Johnny or Depp):

Produce:  I have great ideas, and I follow through when there are clear-cut deadlines ( for a publisher or a speaking engagement), but my own professional projects (AutismCollege.com)  and  personal ones (exercise,  develop my personal relationships, mentor my autistic son Jeremy in reaching his life goals) don’t get completed in a timely fashion.  So this year, I will produce the projects I have identified as crucial and dear to my heart. Which takes me to my second word…

Flow: In order to have more time to produce, I need to eliminate distractions and clutter in all areas of my life. I’m interested in so many things and I easily get distracted so I am learning to have blinders like a racing horse does and focus on the finish line. Horses can still sense what they may not necessarily see, and I hope I have the same instincts when necessary.

Collaborate: Often I am so busy with outside deadlines that I don’t make the effort to spend time with people who I could effectively partner with to reach mutually beneficial professional and personal goals.  This year, I will focus on collaborating with like-minded people who have similar goals.

Hopefully, what I’ve shared is helpful to you. However, I know most of you just want to hear about my dream involving Johnny Depp (rated PG). So here it is:

I dreamt I was visiting my daughter, Rebecca, who was staying with a musician friend, helping him break into the music business. (Rebecca is a volunteer DJ at the UC Davis radio station).  Johnny Depp was staying there as well (big surprise!). While I’m there Johnny asks Rebecca to help him with the computer to hear an on-line training course that is discussing streams of income and sales funnels and handling your wealth.  I am nervous meeting Johnny, so I try to make conversation  about how Rebecca could use information  like that because she is having such a tough time finding a part time job (reality) while at college, and could use money, and as I continue talking I realize that I sound like I am asking Johnny Depp for money and for a job for Rebecca, which I am not. I’m just having a bad case of  foot in- mouth disease.  I feel really stupid. Only my daughter was more embarrassed than I was.  We climb into a small boat to reach the small stage where Rebecca’s musician friend is playing, and getting out of the boat I splash my husband’s best friend from New Jersey, and his wife and practically drown them. Embarrassment after embarrassment. You know the feeling.

That’s my dream. So this morning I woke up, wrote PRODUCE, FLOW, COLLABORATE on a piece of paper and put it on the dining room table (center of the house) and every time I do something now I ask if it fits in with my goals. I’ll keep you posted on how my three words work out.

What are you focusing on this year?

If you are still reading this far and you know Johnny Depp, tell him I’m not asking for money, but if he needs info on autism, tell him to check out my books and websites, and to call me if he has time for lunch. We could collaborate on something. Hopefully, his good looks won’t be too much of a distraction.

Best wishes  to you and your family for 2012!

Preparing Your Teen or Young Adult for Work in the Real World

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“Jeremy does not like jobs with physical activities but likes to work with ideas and be able to tell others what to do…. As the case manager, I see Jeremy’s strong assets like working data, communicating with people to purchase/buy/manage a business. He is able to do gross motor activities, but often finds fine motor activities difficult and frustrating. Jeremy needs more opportunities exploring jobs and finding out what he would do to have fun and earn money. These last two ideas are very important to Jeremy.”

The above was part of information given to us by one of Jerey’s favorite teachers during an Individualized Education Program (IEP) meeting a few years back.

Jeremy is older now, but like all parents my husband and I worry about what his future will look like. Jeremy is now 22 years old, and with the economic situation being what it is, we are doubly concerned about the financial aspects of Jeremy’s life as an adult. But as the saying goes, worry gets you nowhere – fast. Preparing, planning and creative thinking is a better alternative to wringing our hands.

When thinking about employment for your child or student on the spectrum, there are a few aspects that need to be focused on: the life skills he or she needs to learn; a clear understanding of what employers look for in an employee; the interests and strengths of the person on the spectrum; the usefulness of mentors; and the different employment structures currently available. In this post, I’ll be discussing necessary life skills and what employers look for.

Necessary Life Skills

In my book, Autism Life Skills : From Communication and Safety to Self-Esteem and More – 10 Essential Abilities Every Child Needs and Deserves to Learn, the ten skill areas covered are important for all aspects of life, whether at work, at school, at home, or in the community. Some of the skills such as self-regulation, independence, social relationships, and self-advocacy are important for getting and keeping a job. The topic of earning a living is the last chapter in my book, because being able to get and hold a job is really a culmination of all the life skills hopefully learned during the school -age years, whether a person is on or off the spectrum. For example, for someone to be accepted in a workplace, he must be able to control his emotional and sensory meltdowns. A certain amount of independence is needed at most jobs. Understanding that you should speak to your boss differently than you would to a colleague is important to know in most work situations. Self advocacy skills are necessary in order to request what you need to get the job done.

Life skills in general should be broken down and translated into IEP goals and objectives, especially during middle school, high school and transition years. Obviously, everyone is different and the skill level reached for each of these skills is different depending on the person, but every student needs to learn a minimum in order to live and work in the community.

What Employers Look for When Hiring

Too often, when looking for a job placement for a person on the spectrum, people take the approach of asking for handout, or a favor. We need to approach this differently. I took a look at the top 10 skills and attributes most employers look for as identified by the Bureau of Labor (Job Outlook, 2003) and I discovered that many of those attributes are attributes people on the spectrum have, yet rarely do we sell those attributes to prospective employers. Here’s the top ten of what employers look for: honesty and integrity; a strong work ethic; analytical skills; computer skills; teamwork; time management and organizational skills; communication skills (oral and written); flexibility; interpersonal skills; motivation / initiative.

Now, many of you reading this are probably focusing on the skills in this list your child or student does not have. Look at it again, and think about what attributes your child does have. For example, most people on the spectrum are honest to a fault – they are usually the ones in the store saying “yes” when a woman trying on a dress says “Does this make me look fat?” They are not the employees who will be caught with thier hands in the cash tills. That’s a positive point to sell. A strong work ethic applies to most of our guys – the ones who do not like a change in routine and are going to be there rain or shine. They will not be calling in sick because they had one too many martinis the night before, or leave early because they have an event to attend. Analytical skills are really ‘obsessive attention to detail,’ and many of our children have that. The child who likes to line up blocks and trains probably has good organizational skills. Teamwork and flexibility are difficult areas for many, but we should be teaching flexibility at school (there are ways of doing that), and teamwork can be handled by ensuring the person on the spectrum has one person on the team that he is in contact with for all needed information. Many of our children with Asperger’s are good communicators, and some have become journalists, speechwriters and professors.

The point is, when people are selling a product and/ or service, they market the positive attributes, not the negatives. And that’s precisely what we need to be doing with any prospective employee on the spectrum.

In my next post, I’ll discuss the interests and strengths of the person on the spectrum, and the usefulness of mentors.