How To Start A Great New Year

         Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

My son, Jeremy, is a New Year’s baby. From the moment I was given Jeremy’s due date – January 10, 1989 – I was admonished by my sister the nurse practitioner to make sure not to go into labor during the holiday season.

Whatever you do, don’t give birth on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day; that’s the worst time to have a baby – the hospital staff who are working either don’t want to be there, are getting drunk or are hung over.

We are living in Paris at the time, and  we are invited to a New Year’s Eve party being thrown by other expats in their  loft in the 6ieme  arrondissement. We don’t own a car, so we take the metro.  Obviously, I don’t drink any alcohol at this point, but I still try to dance as much as my 8.5 months pregnant belly will allow me to.  You can stop me from drinking, but not from dancing!

Just after midnight and after ringing in the new year, we decide to head home, about 2 miles away in the 12th arrondissement. The metro and the bus have stopped running for the night,  and  there are no taxis to be had, this being New Year’s Eve. We start walking in the general direction of our apartment,  still  hopeful of catching a cab after it has dropped off a client. After about a mile, we are walking in front of the hospital where Jeremy is supposed to be born in ten days. There is a park bench and I sit down.

Let’s stop here; I’m too tired to walk and it’s conveniently located in case the baby decides to come early!

Little did I know… Another half hour goes by, still no taxi , so we walk  all the way home. We are in bed by 3:00 am. A few hours later I feel what I presume to be the start of labor pains.  I call the hospital and describe what I am feeling, and they tell me to come in to the hospital NOW. I wake Daniel up.

We have to go, we are having a baby! I need to get to the hospital!

I make him a cup of expresso, two shots, because he is not a morning person.  I take a shower.  A woman wants to feel clean and look nice when giving birth (an oxymoron, I know).

When I get out of the shower, Daniel is not getting ready – he is putzing  around – putting away clean dishes, straightening the silverware drawer, emptying the garbage, all at a leisurely pace.  I am not feeling calm,  I yell:

What are you doing??? We have to go to the hospital!

He replies,

Yeah yeah, relax,  The baby is not due for another ten days! Calm down!

We go downstairs to the street to get a taxi. We realize we may have a problem getting one as it is early New Year’s day, about 7:00 am, and because according to movies we have seen, taxi drivers do not want to pick up pregnant ladies about to give birth. They don’t want their cabs messed up. We spy a cab and Daniel flags him down and I hide my discomfort and we tell the cab driver we are going to the hospital to visit a sick aunt. He takes us to the hospital.

Meanwhile, all I can think of is what my sister told me:

Whatever you do don’t have a baby on the New year’s Eve or New Year’s Day!

Sigh. Some things you can’t control. When we get to the hospital, the nurse checks my vital signs and how much I’ve dilated, and she says

Yup, it’s happening today; I’ll tell the midwife you are ready!

Daniel drops the bag he was carrying – the bag that you are told to have packed two weeks before you are due to go to the hospital – and he exclaims,

Oh no, I can’t believe it; I thought this was a dress rehearsal, I was just humoring you!

I could have killed him on the spot if I hadn’t been in so much pain.

Needless to say, Jeremy was born that day despite it not being a good day to be giving birth in hospitals. Everything went well.  It was a wonderful start to a New Year, for which I am forever grateful.

 

New Year’s Resolutions

Seven tips for a more livable New Year

If you are like me, you’re happy to see the back end of this year and are looking forward with renewed hope to the New Year just round the corner.
Here are  some tips for a more livable New Year  that  don’t  need to cost  you money, and if practiced regularly  may even save you som, because you will feel less stressed, and require less self-medication or visits to the doctor. These tips are useful for everyone, not just for people with autism in their lives either as parents or professionals, so feel free to pass them  around. I hope you will adopt one or two of them as your New Year’s Resolutions:
·      Practice self-care.  Even if it is just for 15 minutes a day, take a breather.  Just like the flight attendants on airplanes instruct you to put the oxygen mask on you before helping a child, you need to take care of yourself first to be able to take care of  others.

·      Acknowledge what you have accomplished. Too often, at the end of the day, people think about all the things on their to-do list that they have not gotten done.  Do yourself credit – think about all that you did   accomplish that day. You will be amazed at how long that list is, and you will sleep better at night.

·      Focus on the positive. Nothing in life is perfect. Every situation has appositive and a negative aspect to it.  Focusing on the negative will leave you spinning your wheels. Focusing on the positive will give you the energy you need to  move forward.

·      Remain true to your life goals and values. If you know what you want, keep your eye on the ball. Evaluate the opportunities that present themselves and ask yourself, “Is this is line with my plan for myself, my family, my community? Is this in line with my values? ” If yes, accept. If not, decline.

·      Forgive yourself. We’ve all done something or said something we’ve later regretted, or perhaps not behaved or worked up to our usual high standards. Learn from the experience, but don’t dwell on your mistakes.

·      Forgive others. No-one is perfect, and as you wish to be forgiven by others, you must forgive those around you.

·      Practice wisdom, serenity, and courage. A wise man once prayed: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” No matter your religious beliefs, we all need that kind of wisdom.
Best wishes to you and your family for a happy, healthy, and wealthy New Year.

First posted on Examiner.com December 30, 2009