Praise for A Full Life with Autism

Lars Perner, Ph.D., Chair, Panel of People on the Spectrum of Autism Advisors for the Autism Society of America, and Assistant Professor of Clinical Marketing, USC, had this to say about A Full Life with Autism:

Each individual on the spectrum is unique and will need personally tailored supports.  At the same time, because of autism’s complexities and seemingly contradictory characteristics, it is often difficult to get a view of the “big picture” of a life on the spectrum and the challenges that it presents.  In their very comprehensive—yet highly readable—book, Chantal and Jeremy succeed in addressing both of these concerns.

Although ample resources for addressing the diverse needs of individuals on the spectrum are presented, the case Jeremy illustrates the types of challenges, surprises, and opportunities  that may come up as an individual develops.  Chantal talks about initially not expecting Jeremy even to finish high school and subsequently being able to help him not just graduate but go on to college.  An especially intriguing issue discussed involved helping Jeremy understand that a girlfriend is not something that can just be “hired” in the way that one can secure aides and support workers—an issue that only the most clairvoyant parent might have anticipated. Although optimistic and filled with humor, the book clearly acknowledges challenges that this family faced and those that will likely be faced by others—including obstacles to finding long term housing opportunities and healing from traumatic events.

Although much of the writing is done by Chantal, Jeremy is a consistent, creative, and innovative contributor, talking candidly about his own experiences that have led to the lists of tips that he presents.  I especially love his observation that rights of disabled individuals “are founded on the Fourteenth Amendment of the Constitution.”  The book’s extensive list of issues that may come up will unquestionable leave many families much better prepared for handling the challenges that will come up over the years.

More Rave Reviews: A Full Life with Autism

Elaine Hall,  creator of the Miracle Project, author of Now I See the Moon, co-author of Seven Keys to Unlock Autism and  subject of the movie “AUTISM: The Musical” has this to say about A Full Life with Autism:

A Full Life with Autism provides parents of teens on the autistic spectrum understanding, guidance, hope, and resources to navigate the uncharted territory of adult living.  Thank you, Chantal and Jeremy Sicile-Kira for responding to questions that so many of us parents are aching to know.  Thank you for brilliantly weaving  the parent perspective with Jeremy’s internal dialogue.  Thank you, Jeremy  for bravely articulating what is really going on inside the mind/body of someone with autism. I will use your words as starting points in my discussions with my own son, Neal.

A Full Life with Autism reminds us that the true “experts” on autism are our children; and that we, the adults, must listen to their wants and desires, then find the resources to help them realize their dreams.  I will be recommending this book to everyone I know.

 

 

A Full Life with Autism: Comments by Dr. Cathy Pratt

Unfortunately, many adults on the autism experience high rates of unemployment or underemployment.  Some of our most gifted live in poverty and have few options in life.   Chantal and Jeremy have creatively worked to create an engaged life for Jeremy and his family.   This book provides very practical ideas for transition planning and provides a template that others can use as they support adults moving into adulthood.   I highly recommend this for any family or individual as they  prepare for transition planning.

 

Dr. Cathy Pratt, BCBA-D, Director- Indiana Resource Center for Autism, Indiana Institute on Disability and Community; Former President of the Autism Society of America

Review of A Full Life with Autism by Dr. Joshua Feder

This marvelous book lays out in plain and readable language the challenges of transition to adulthood for persons with autism and offers practical advice from the inside perspective of a mom and her adult son teamed as partners in the enterprise of helping him achieve a meaningful life.

It is inspirational, almost a parable, in its effect of drawing you into their story and teaching important principles, and yet it is also comprehensive in the executive task of helping us think about our values, goals and objectives in our mission to give a real life to our adults with autism and related challenges.

Perhaps one of the most important messages: behavior is a form of communication, and it is incumbent on the people around the person with autism to work to understand what that behavior is communicating without merely consigning it to a category of something to be gotten rid of.  Jeremy states: “I have oftentimes been the victim of ignorance.”  We must not be party to what Jeremy has suffered.  We need to be humble and helpful, persistently curious and ever respectful.  We cannot presume to know what we do not.  We must take the time to get to know the hopes and dreams of people whom we do not yet understand.

I was also intrigued by the undercurrent discussion of relationships that runs through the book in sections on friendship, sex, love, and support staff, as they all revolve around the quality and character of relationships.  How can we support, for the person and people around him, the development of more meaningful communication, relating, and problem-solving.  To the many thoughts already included I would add that it is often very helpful to support the person and caregivers by carving out regular reflective time to think through how things are going  – what is working, what isn’t, and what to do to try next to understand the situation better and try something different.

In all, this is a compelling, thoughtful, comprehensive and inspiring bible that belongs on the shelf of everyone who strives to help people with autism build a life in a complex world.

Joshua Feder MD, Director of Research of the Interdisciplinary Council on Developmental and Learning Disorders

Kirkus Book Review: A Full Life with Autism

A Full Life with Autism: From Learning to Forming Relationships to Achieving Independence is my latest book co-authored with my son Jeremy (foreword by Temple Grandin) that was published on March 27 by Macmillan. The book has received many excellent reviews. Here is one by Kirkus Book Reviews, whose reviewers  are known as the world’s toughest book critics:

For readers already knowledgeable about autism and Asperger’s syndrome, a hands-on approach to transitioning into adulthood.

Sicile-Kira (41 Things to Know about Autism, 2010, etc.) and her autistic son, Jeremy, join forces in this guidebook to help parents and their autistic offspring move beyond childhood and evolve into an adult life. Although special-education services exist for children with autism spectrum disorder, once a child reaches adulthood the lack of adult services becomes apparent. As the mother of a severely autistic child, the author understands the needs of caregivers and children on the spectrum alike to shift to a quality of life that provides independence for all parties. “To create the future that you and your adult child envision will take perseverance and work,” she writes. “But good quality of life and peace of mind is worth it.” Based on her research, Sicile-Kira has compiled the majority of available resources into an accessible handbook that provides information on topics such as romantic and sexual relationships, finding appropriate living arrangements for true self-sufficiency and acquiring and keeping a job. The author breaks each large, seemingly overwhelming undertaking into small, doable tasks. Bulleted lists sum up each chapter and help readers remain focused and on-track. Equally as effective are the short essays and “top ten tips for parents,” written by Jeremy. His voice gives a personal, honest perspective on the daily life, expectations and hopes of someone with special needs who wants to become as integrated into adult society as possible. Additional resources include reading material and websites for care providers and people on the spectrum.

A proactive method for raising an adult child with special needs.

 -Kirkus  Book Review

1001 Tips for Parents of Autistic Boys and Autistic Girls.

Those who have heard me speak at conferences or who read my books know that I love information that is usable. When it comes to books on autism, practical rules. Two books have just been published that are full of useful tidbits that parents will appreciate, and these are 1001 Tips for Parents of Autistic Girls by Tony Lyons, and 1001 Tips for Parents of Autistic Boys by Ken Siri.

Like any book on autism, some of the tips in these books will apply to your child and your situation, and others may not. But with 1001 tips there are many to choose from. The book for parents of autistic girls is a great resource, as lately there have been a few books published on Aspie girls but nothing really for those on the other parts of the spectrum. When it comes to puberty and the teen years, parents of girls need information about how to handle the changes puberty brings (I think you get the picture).

On Thanksgiving Eve, I am grateful for the autism community of parents, professionals and support staff who have shared their wisdom as we search for enlightenment. In honor of the release of these two 1001 Tips  for Parents, I’m sharing my favorite tips for making it through the holiday season from my recent Psychology Today blog. Parents, you may find these useful in making it through the upcoming month and a half. I know how difficult it can be.

(If these tips don’t work, remember the three V’s – valium, vodka, vacation, but not if you are driving and certainly not for your child. – Disclaimer: The information appearing between these parenthesis was written to incite laughter, and is not to be taken as medical advice, please check with your doctor before self-medicating).

Why the holidays are so difficult for families with autism and what can help

Often parents in the autism community will joke that we become more religious during the holiday season that begins with Thanksgiving: we pray our children will behave while we are visiting relatives, we pray they will show interest in their gifts (and not just the ribbon), we pray they will sit at the dinner table, we pray they won’t hit the relative who tries to kiss them, and above all – we pray that we will have the strength to politely ignore the judgments passed upon us and our ‘misbehaving’ children.

Here are some areas of difficulties for children on the spectrum and their families during the holiday season, from my book, 41 Things to Know About Autism, published earlier this year :

The stores are full of noise, lights, lots of people, and winter holiday music that can create major overwhelm for those with sensory processing challenges.
• Social requirements such as relatives wanting a hug or a kiss that can fell painful.
• Holiday dinners where they are expected to try foods or sit for long periods of time with so many people and so much commotion.
• Many children are mesmerized by the colors and textures of the ribbon and wrapping paper and do not open the present but stim (get engrossed and play) with the wrapping
• The child does not understand personal space or have safety notions and so may run around the house or try to play with something breakable.
• Relatives may think that the child is misbehaving, and may try to discipline the child, not realizing that the child really can’t help it, and that discipline is not helpful when it comes to sensory overload and high anxiety.
• Parents have a difficult time because they know there are certain expectations of behavior that relatives and friends have and that the child cannot fulfill.

What can you do? With some preparation, planning and information sharing, the holidays can be less stressful and more enjoyable. Here are some tips on how to prepare your friends and relatives whom you will be visiting:

• Explain the difficulties your child has with the holiday dinner environment, decorations, noise etc.
• Let them know he is not just misbehaving, and that he is learning little by little to handle these situations
• Explain about dietary challenges so they don’t expect him to eat what everyone else is eating.
• Ask if there is a quiet room (child -proof in terms of décor) where your child can retreat for some quiet time to escape the commotion and noise.
• Send them a short but sweet letter or email ahead of time explaining why your child acts the way he does and the difficulties of the holidays form his point of view. They will have a better understanding of why she won’t wear a dress or he won’t wear a necktie, and why as more and more people start arriving, he tries to escape the room.

To prepare your child:

• Make a social stories book about what will be happening and the behavioral expectations. If possible include photos of who he will be seeing, the house  decorated during last year’s holiday season. If he is going to church, do the same for that environment.
• Play some of the music he may be hearing at this holiday season.
• Practice unwrapping presents – wrap a bunch of boxes up with favorite treats inside and have him open them to get to them.
• Practice a handshake if he can tolerate that.
• Write rules together – ie how long he thinks he can tolerate sitting at table, and the expected behavior.

On the day of the holiday celebration:

• Remind your child of the agreed upon rules
• Pack some little toys he can play with in his lap at the dinner table
• Bring some foods he can eat, especially if he is on a specific diet.
• Arrive early so that the noise level builds up slowly for him.
• Do not let the expectations of others ruin your day. Do what you need to do to make it as comfortable as possible for you and your child.

Holidays can be difficult because of all the expectations, as well as the sensory challenges, but with planning and information sharing the holidays can be more enjoyable for all.

“THE STATE OF THINGS” North Carolina Public Radio station WUNC

Click here for a link to the radio show

The program is “The State of Things” on North Carolina Public Radio station WUNC.  Longtime NPR correspondent Frank Stasio hosts the program, which  this time  focused on autism.

The way Franc Stasio introduced me is a description I think describes what all autism moms and dads tend to be – strategists:

“… Jeremy is almost 22 now and  he is thriving thanks to an army of experts whose chief strategist and leader of the troops is his mother.” Frank Stasio, host of radio show ‘The State of Things” on WUNC, North Carolina Public Radio, April 2010.

I was on a panel that will include  Autism Society of North Carolina  spokesperson David Laxton; and a representative of the North Carolina TEACCH program, and Daniel Coulter.  TEACCH stands for “Treatment and Education of Autistic and related Communication Handicapped Children” and is associated with the North Carolina School of Medicine.

Temple Grandin: The HBO Movie starring Claire Danes

Temple Grandin, a world-renown designer of livestock handling facilities and a professor of animal science at Colorado State University, is arguably the world’s most famous person with autism. Temple has written many books about autism, others about animals, and even more about both. Last week I called Temple (who wrote the forward to my first three books) to get her input on my latest book, 41 Things to Know About Autism. Temple told me that the long-awaited “Temple Grandin” directed by Mick Jackson is finally premiering on HBO on February 6. The screenplay by Christopher Monger and William Merritt Johnson is based on Temple’s book “Thinking in Pictures,” as well as “Emergence” by Temple Grandin and Margaret Sciariano.

For Emily Gerson Saines, Executive Producer, this movie has been a labor of love for nne years. A parent of a child diagnosed at three, she was given Temple’s autobiography, “Thinking in Pictures,” by her own mother. The book became a source of inspiration for her in raising her own child.

Temple is well-known for her ability of thinking in pictures, and I was therefore curious as to how she would react to seeing her life in images created by others, not necessarily the same pictures she has in her mind about her life. Temple discussed her thoughts with me about the movie.

How much input did Temple have on the making of this movie?

I gave input into the screenwriting, spent a good amount of time, four days, with the writers and two days with the director. I think they did a great job. They built a cattle dipping vat based right on my original, off of my drawings. My drawings are all over the movie; I really liked that. In a scene near the end of the movie, I am selling a job to one of the meat plants, my drawings are out on the conference room table. Well, not my originals, I copied them at Kinko’s! They did really cool animations of the conveyor system for handling cattle at the slaughter plant from those drawings – really cool animations taken form my drawings – they really emphasized my projects. The cattle stuff was very accurate. They showed all the sexual discrimination I had to put up with in the livestock field. Women did not work in the yards back then just the office. It’s a lot better now.”

What was it like for Temple to see Claire Danes playing her?

“Weird. It was weird to see me on the screen. It was like going in a weird time machine, going back in a time machine into the 60’s. They put a wig on Claire and dressed her up in clothes and she had to wear these ugly false teeth apparatus. She looked like me, except she was shorter than me and we couldn’t do anything about that, but she sounds and moves just like me. She does accurately portray how I would act in the 60s and 70s. Claire did a great job.”

How did Temple help Claire prepare for the role?

“We met in New York for a half a day and I gave her all my tapes of me, of old lectures from the late 80’s, early 90’s and an old Larry King show I did. I only had still photos from childhood; they didn’t take video in our house then. Claire had a voice and movement coach.

Did the film attempt to portray how Temple’s mind thinks in pictures; and if so how did they do that?

“The movie is great. They really showed how my mind works. They have a neat scene where they show how I think in pictures, very effective. I love how they showed that. They showed sequentially pictures of ‘shoes’ that is exactly how I think – like snapshots of different types of shoes: high heels, flats, all different types and shapes and colors.”

What was Temple’s favorite aspect of the movie?

“The visualizations and they way they used my drawings. They showed the optical illusion I built, the science teacher challenged me to do that, the Amesʼ “Distorted Room. They built a working squeeze machine I designed and the gate at my aunt’s ranch.”

What was it life for Temple being on the movie set, watching them put her life story into pictures?

“I only watched a small part of it being filmed. I watched it through a monitor because I didn’t want to make Claire nervous. What really interested me was the number of people on the set that had Asperger’s Syndrome. Smart people. Let’s just say they weren’t sweeping the floor. They are all part timers. There are a lot of technical jobs in production and it was like a big construction project.”

What message does Temple want people to take away from seeing this movie?

I hope one of the things they get from it is the importance of a good teacher and mentors. Mr. Carlock (David Strathairn) saw that I had some areas of strength and he developed that. He spotted my ability with science; mentors are attracted to ability. Sometimes you find the mentors in the oddest places. In fact, the first meat plant I ever went to, I got in because I met the wife of their insurance agent, because she liked my hand embroidered shirt.

People are going to hire you because of your skill not your personality. You need to have a portfolio to show them what you can do. When I first went into the American Society of Agricultural Engineers, they thought I was weird, they didn’t even want to talk to me. Then I whipped out the cow dip vat drawing and that made them respect me.

Also, it’s important for people with Asperger’s to understand they need to make things that people want in order to make a living. Like the opening gate at my aunt’s farm – I would get upset at my aunt, but I ended up building the gate my aunt (Catherine O’Hara) wanted. I figured out how to open the gate without getting out of the car. This gate – it solved other’s people’s problems. That’s something you can make money from. The gate was an early project at age 16 before I made the squeeze machine. I hope this movie inspires a lot of parents.”

What is it like for Temple to know that there is a movie of her life out there?

“Well, I’ll never get a fat head. I’ll go on the movie tour, and go on my book tours, and then I’ll come back here. I never forget what my real job is, which is my livestock stuff. Today, I’m having lunch with one of my students to discuss a project we are working on together. That’s my real job.”

A few days after talking to Temple about the movie, I was given the opportunity to see it. I have to agree with Temple. It’s a great movie and not just for people interested in autism or cattle, because It’s a wonderful, inspirational, and entertaining story. The messages that Temple hopes people will take away are true for everyone, not just those with Asperger’s, especially in this economy. As a friend of Temple’s I was impressed with Claire’s interpretation of her: she really sounds and moves like Temple. As a former production professional, I appreciated the effort and care with which they took words on a page and translated them into sounds and images that accurately portrayed a person who is a hero to many of us – not an easy thing to do. As a parent of a child with autism, I could not help but relate to Temple’s mother, Eustacia Cutler (Julia Ormond), and was moved to tears during the final scene. Watch this movie, you’ll be glad you did.

This article was first published on HuffingtonPost.com, January 13, 2010.

Open Letter to Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

Dear Arnie,

I hope you don’t mind me calling you Arnie, but I feel like we have a lot in common. My family also immigrated from Europe to follow the American Dream, and a couple of years ago I had the pleasure of meeting one of your wife’s relatives — Anthony Shriver — when we were both invited to speak at the Shafallah Center for Children with Special Needs in Qatar. Also, your oldest daughter, Catherine, was born the same year as my son, Jeremy, and my daughter is a few months younger than your Aurelia. And did I forget to mention? We live in the same state. So, I feel close to you.

Arnie, I’m writing to you today in regards to a topic I know you are sick of hearing about. I promise, I’ll keep it short. It’s about the budget. I just want to know, have you forgotten the nice things about living in the old country? I’m not sure about Austira, but I know from personal experience that in France, Germany and the UK, they take care of their young, their sick, their old, and their disabled — those who are now who are suffering the most from the budget cuts here in California. By the way, I’m still trying to figure out how we got into this position; I heard that if California were a country, it would rank among the ten largest economies in the world, interesting, huh?

Speaking about budget cuts, my friends are always picking on me about the French only working 35 hours a week and how the system over there is going broke. Well, now all my friends working for the different California state departments aren’t laughing anymore — they are being forced to work as little as the French (you know, those unpaid furlough days they have to take?) — and our beautiful state is still broke. Big difference — in France — the same workers are getting health care and 5 weeks paid vacation, nice pensions, can you beat that? Weird, huh?

Granted, Europe is not perfect and it was hard to be a self-made man back then in the old days, (easier now, so I have heard). When I was over there working in TV and film, I could not get an education for my autistic son (I hear that, too, is beginning to change). But when I was pregnant with my daughter, Rebecca, the French doctors realized from the pre-natal care that they had insisted in providing me,  that she was going to be born with a certain medical condition. Rebecca required shots, blood tests, medication and frequent monitoring. They gave her excellent medical care (all for free) for a year and continued to monitor her afterwards. Thanks to that preventative and early intervention, today she is healthy, and on her way to becoming a productive member of society.

My French grandmother lived in Paris till she was 96, bless her heart, and she did not have to worry about having a roof over her head and enough food to eat (what with rent control and all). Memere had health care workers visit once a day, and when she could not climb the stairs anymore she went to an old age home which was an old Victorian house — where many of her former neighbors lived. She enjoyed the last of her days without worrying about how she could afford to eat and sleep. Memere was a factory worker, and she had her pension, and medical care, too.

In comparison, my mom has Parkinson’s, she is stuck in a wheelchair and lives in a nursing home down the street from me, and believe me — you don’t want to now how much it costs. I’m not sure what we are going to do when Maman’s money runs out.

Meanwhile, I have raised my son, Jeremy, despite his severe autism as best I could, and he has become an inspirations to many in the autism community. You can see for yourself on MTV’s True Life, in “I Have Autism.” In fact, his story was picked as the one of the tops 5 most inspiring moments for overcoming challenges from a couple of hundred True Life Stories. Last fall, he passed the California High School Exit Exam, all by typing with one finger. Pretty amazing, huh?

Arnie, I love the whole self-made man and the “American Dream” that made you move here years ago in the first place — which is why I was so thrilled when the state of California started some self-employment projects for people with developmental disabilities. My son and I have been involved in a few of these projects; he is all for pulling his own weight. ‘Course now with all the budget cuts, I’m not sure what is going to happen to him and his American Dream.

Which reminds me — right now, my husband still has a job, although it is in construction project management, so who knows how long that will last. I kinda worry sometimes what will happen to our family — our nice middle class tax-paying family if the construction business completely dries up. And I’m sure we can’t be the only ones losing sleep and worrying over stuff like this.

Now, I know I am rambling here — I’m almost done — but did I tell you about my Rebecca? I’m very proud of her, too. She is going to be a senior in high school and we are going on a road trip next week to visit some University of California and State College campuses in California. I don’t have the heart to tell her it is probably a waste of time — with all the budget cuts I’m not sure she will get in (even though she is an excellent student) because they are admitting less people next year — what with the budget cuts. Even if she gets in, I’m not sure how we can afford it, seeing how Rebecca’s brother and her grandma are going to be depending upon us more and more this coming year.

Hey, I read yesterday in the Sunday New York Times that Tom Arnold says he is making a movie with you in 14 months — it’s going to start shooting the day after you leave office? He says there is no plot or script determined yet. He said, “It’s not going to be called ‘True Lies II,’ but it might as well be…” Well, that’s pretty funny, though I don’t think he meant it quite that way.

But actually I have an idea for your first movie when you leave office — it goes like this: you take a wealthy state like California, and you take away the social supports in place for the children, disabled and elderly; you force those who have government jobs to close their offices a few days a month and take a cut in pay; drive the unemployment rate up to 10%; you mix in a few natural disasters like wildfires in San Diego, Los Angeles and Santa Barbara; add an earthquake in San Francisco; and — but wait! Didn’t these things happen already? LOL — I guess it can be a reality TV show!

Actually, I think we could all use a good, funny comedy when you are back in Hollywood, don’t you, to take our mind off our troubles? Come to think of it, going to the movies is not in our budget anymore. Hope it doesn’t effect your children’s future if most Californians can’t afford movie tickets anymore, either. Actually, it probably won’t even make a dent a your finances. “Funny the way it is, if you think about it, somebody’s going hungry and someone else is eating out.” Dang! This darn Dave Matthews song keeps playing in my head! So annoying.

Now please, Arnie, don’t get the idea I’m blaming you for all this. I understand it takes more than a few years and a few people to get us into a mess like this. But, right now, you’re the top man — “the buck stops here.” Which reminds me — I read the other day in my local San Diego Union Tribune that LA City Hall paid an estimated $1.4 million on police protection and other services at Michael Jackson’s memorial, including $48,000 on sandwiches brought in for police from 70 miles away. Those must have been some sandwiches! (You know, sometimes I’ll go that extra mile for a cheeseburger from In-and-Out, but I digress). Anyhow, I’m a big fan of Michael Jackson, but where did all that money come from to pay for this?

Well got to go — need to write a letter to President Obama. Gotta let him know I can’t afford to volunteer for the community anymore. Got to spend every free moment earning money or taking care of my mom and son. By the way, I’ve spent money traveling around to advise different autism taskforces around the state these last few years — do you think I can get reimbursed for expenses? I could use the gas money now.

Please give my best to your lovely wife, Maria. I really do appreciate all that she and her family have done for the developmentally disabled — Special Olympics, Best Buddies. God knows we need these volunteer programs now more than ever.

Thanks for all you do,

Chantal

Preparing for The Real World of Work

“Jeremy does not like jobs with physical activities but likes to work with ideas and be able to tell others what to do…. As the case manager, I see Jeremy’s strong assets like working data, communicating with people to purchase/buy/manage a business. He is able to do gross motor activities, but often finds fine motor activities difficult and frustrating. Jeremy needs more opportunities exploring jobs and finding out what he would do to have fun and earn money.  These last two ideas are very important to Jeremy.”

– Allan Gustafson, Interview with Jeremy Sicile-Kira, Transition Year 07-08

Like all parents, my husband and I worry  about our son, Jeremy, and what his future will look like. Jeremy is now 20 years old, and with  the economic situation being what it is, we are doubly concerned about the financial aspects of Jeremy’s  life as an adult. But as the saying goes, worry gets you nowhere – fast. Preparing, planning and creative thinking is a better alternative to wringing our hands.

When thinking about employment for your child or student  on the spectrum, there are a few  aspects that need to be focused on:  the life skills he or she needs to learn; a clear understanding of what employers look for in an employee; the interests and strengths of the person on the spectrum; the usefulness of mentors; and the different employment structures currently available.

Necessary Life Skills

In my latest book, Autism Life Skills : From Communication and Safety to Self-Esteem and More – 10 Essential Abilities Every Child Needs and Deserves to Learn, the ten skill areas covered are important for all aspects of life, whether  at school, at home, or in the community. Some of the skills  such as self-regulation, independence, social relationships,  and self-advocacy are  important  for getting and keeping a job. The topic of earning a living is the last chapter in my book, because being able to get and hold a job  is really a culmination of  all the life skills  hopefully learned during the school –age years, whether a person is on or off the spectrum. For example, for someone to be accepted in a workplace, they must be able to control their emotional and sensory meltdowns. A certain amount of independence is needed at most jobs. Understanding that you should speak to your boss differently than you would to  a colleague is important to know in most work situations. Self advocacy skills are  necessary in order to request what you need to get the job done.

Life skills in general  should be broken down and translated into IEP goals and objectives, especially during middle school, high school and  transition years. Obviously, everyone is different and the skill level reached for each of these skills is different depending on the person, but every student needs to learn a minimum in order to live and work in the community.

What Employers Look for When Hiring

Too often,  when  looking for a job placement for  a person on the spectrum, people take the approach of asking for handout, or a favor. We need to  approach this differently. I took a look at the top 10 skills and attributes most employers  look for as identified by the Bureau of Labor (Job Outlook, 2003) and I discovered that many of those attributes are attributes people  on the spectrum have, yet rarely do we sell those attributes to prospective employers. Here’s  the top ten of what  employers look for: honesty and  integrity; a strong work ethic; analytical skills; computer skills; teamwork; time management and organizational skills; communication skills (oral and written); flexibility; interpersonal skills; motivation / initiative.

Now, many of you reading this are probably  focusing on the skills in this list your child or student does not have. Look at it again, and think about what attributes your child does have. For example, most people on the spectrum are honest to a fault – they are usually  the ones in the store saying “yes” when a woman trying on a dress says “Does this make me look fat?”  They are not the employee who will be caught with his hand in the cash till.  That’s a positive point to sell. A strong work ethic applies to most of our guys – the ones who do not like a change in routine and are going to be there rain or shine. They will not be calling in sick because they had one too many martinis the night before, or leave early because they have an event to attend.  Analytical skills are really ‘obsessive attention to detail,’ and many of our children have that. The child who likes to line up blocks and trains probably has good organizational skills. Teamwork and flexibility are difficult areas for many, but we should be teaching flexibility at school (there are ways of doing that), and teamwork can be handled by ensuring the person on the spectrum has one person on the team that he is in contact with for all needed  information. Many of our children with Asperger’s are good communicators, and some have become journalists, speechwriters and professors.

The point is, when people are selling a product and/ or service,  they market the positive attributes,  not the negatives. And that’s precisely what we need to be doing with any prospective employees on the spectrum.

The Child’s Interests and Strengths

It is extremely important to consider what your child or student likes or is passionate (ie obsessed) about and figure out how that can help him earn money. In most cases, people on the spectrum can be difficult to motivate – unless it involves something they are really into. For some, it is quite obvious what they are particularly interested in because they don’t let you forget. The trick is to figure out how to use that interest and turn it into a moneymaker, or to find a career field that can use that particular interest or talent. That’s where mentors come into play (more about that later).

For most on the spectrum, a job will be their one connection to the community, and their main activity. If a neurotypical hates his job, he usually has another aspect of his life that is bringing him pleasure – his family, his church, athletic activities. However, most on the spectrum do not have family or friends or many outside groups they belong to, so it is important to help them find work that will fulfill them in some way.

There are those for whom it is fairly obvious what they are passionate about. For many like my son, Jeremy, it is a much less obvious. There doesn’t seem to be anything he is particularly obsessed about  that could lead to employment.  He used to love to spin tops (physics researcher?), and to follow the patterns in carpets and floor tiles (carpet checker in a rug factory?), now he is mostly focused on communicating about girls with his support people (beauty contest judge?). However, by having different people work with him or observe him in different environments, we have been able to come up with ideas to try out, and jobs  to avoid.

When thinking about Jeremy’s future money- making potential (either in a job, customized employment, or self-employment), we thought about the different strengths and weaknesses Jeremy had.  The questions we asked ourselves  are the same that most people should consider when helping someone on the spectrum who is considering employment. For example, we asked:

  • What is Jeremy usually drawn to?
  • Is there a particular  subject area or skill area that  Jeremy excels in?
  • What, if left to his own devices, does he like to do most?
  • What motivates Jeremy to do what he does?
  • How successful is Jeremy at  self-regulating? Does he need to work in a place with low sensory stimulation?
  • What kind of situations cause Jeremy to feel anxious?
  • What do Jeremy’s organizational or multitasking skills look like?
  • Does Jeremy do better in crowded environments or when there are fewer people around?
  • Does  Jeremy like moving around, or staying in the same place?
  • How many hours a week of work can Jeremy handle? Will he be ok with a 40 hour a week job, or does he need a part time job?
  • Does Jeremy like routine and the stability of  doing the same thing every day, or does he like change?

Jeremy is interested in the concept of self-employment and did well in two self-employment experiences he tried in high school.  He had a lot more control over his environment and what his daily tasks consisted of then he would have had in a regular employment situation. However, if he were to apply for a job, there are  many questions he would need to ask an prospective employer (or someone would have to ask for him)  during the interview process to ensure a good fit between himself and the job as well as the work environment.

The Importance of Mentors

Mentors can help figure out how to turn an interest into a job, or  into a means to earn money. Temple Grandin (Thinking in Pictures; Developing Talents) speaks often about the importance of mentors in helping to turn interests into marketable skills.  That is what helped her become the success she is today.  Temple had mentors  from her science teacher at school to her aunt, from family friends to colleagues who were crucial to her success. If your child appears to have skills or  a real interest in a specific area,  someone  who works in that field   can help  the child  realize the application of his interests.  Parents may realize their child’s talent, but not know all about a certain employment area.

For example,   a child may enjoy spending hours on the computer, but  his parent who is a taxi driver or a school teacher or an attorney, may  not know anything aobut the field of computers and employment possibilities. Someone who works in computers – perhaps a tech guy the family knows-  can give insight to what is  applicable  to someone with  that child’s talents.

Mentors can also help a student feel valued as  that person will be interested in the same topic he is and will enjoy hearing what the child has to say, whereas family members  may be tired of hearing about a topic they have no interest in.

Different Employment Structures

There are different employment structures currently available and by analyzing a person’s strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, and by asking some of the questions above,  a clearer idea of what could be a good match with the person on the spectrum is possible. There is full-time work, part-time employment, seasonal work, year round employment and so on.

Other less traditional structures  are becoming more popular, and this is probably in response to the realization that most adults with disabilities are unemployed. In 2002,  unemployment figures for disabled adults hovered at 70% and had done so for the previous 12 years (2002 Report by the President’s Commission on Excellence in Special Education).   This report showed us that besides needing to do a better job of preparing our students for employment, meant we also had to start looking at other employment structures more conducive to individual employee needs.

One  less traditional structure  is customized employment, which  means that the work is tailored to the individual, not the other way around. It can mean job carving, where one job is carved up into different tasks  and shared by several people, giving each employee the part of the job they enjoy or excel at the most. Another type of customized employment is self-employment, which is sometimes referred to as micro-enterprise and  which basically means having your own business or being self-employed.  This can be a good  option for those who are having a difficult time fitting into  regular paid positions, or when there is no position available. This option is gaining popularity in the US as well as in the UK.  For some examples of self-employment initiatives by people with developmental disabilities,  visit http://www.incomelinks.biz/projects.htm.

Self Employment as an Option

Although I would encourage Jeremy to try  an employment opportunity that seems like a good fit, I am not holding my breath waiting for that job to show up on the horizon. I am not convinced that that much has changed since 2002 in the job market in regards to hiring disabled people, and certainly with all the neurotypicals now jobless, I don’t anticipate a huge rush of employers looking to hire my son.

I became interested in the concept of self-employment or micro-enterprise  when Jeremy was not offered any  work experiences during his first few years of high school, about 5 years ago. The workability person at the time felt that Jeremy was not ready for any of  the job options she had in the community.  His teacher, however, felt everyone, including Jeremy, had potential, and was open to creating a self-employment experience under workability. At that time, Jeremy could not communicate as readily as he can now, and so we had to  come up with ideas based on observations that people who knew  Jeremy made about his strengths and weaknesses, his likes and dislikes, and then ask him yes or no questions.

I had heard of people with developmental disabilities having their own business.  When the opportunity came, I  attended a workshop on the process and how it could work, and it made sense to me for someone like Jeremy.  It was clear that if workability was telling me there was not   a work experience opportunity for  Jeremy, I was going to have to create something for him  to learn “on the job” skills.

Jeremy’s teacher came up with the idea of starting a sandwich delivery service for the teachers, based on Jeremy’s strengths and likes, and the fact that by the end of the week, the teachers were sick of the on-site lunch option, and so there was a need for such a service.  Jeremy’s second experience was providing  a needed product (selling flowers to peers at school where no flowers were available on campus). By actually doing these businesses, Jeremy learned valuable business lessons.  These lessons were complimented by general education classes he took those semesters, such as a class on marketing and another one on economics. For his class projects he had to write papers on how he applied those principles to his job. Some of these lessons were:  the cost of doing business; the difference between a profit and a loss;  how marketing, location and  price affected the numbers of customers he was able to attract and keep. Jeremy also learned that if  he could not do all aspects of his job,  he had to pay someone else to do the parts he could not. In reality, it is these kinds of business lessons all neurotypical teens should be learning in the current economy.

That being said, self-employment is not for everyone and necessitates a business support team. The business support team can be made up of a teacher or parent, a paraprofessional, a mentor , a friend, someone who has business experience. Each person brings their knowledge to the team.   The business team helps to advise in areas the person needs help with, and also does parts of the business the person cannot, just as in all businesses (ie I pay a tech guy to take care of my website because I can’t). There are free resources, available on-line for those who are not experienced in starting up a business.

Looking at   self employment as an option sometimes leads to an actual job. The process of discovering a person’s strengths and weaknesses, can lead to discovering  areas of traditional employment that  had not been   considered for that person previously. Sometimes it leads to a job offer  from a business in the local community that  the person had visited  to  get more  information about his area of interest.

Conclusion

Teaching children and teens on the spectrum needed life skills is a necessary  preparation to  life as a money-earning adult. Analyzing the needs of both the potential employee and employer, as well as looking at the different options in employment structures is necessary to ensuring a good match. Finding a mentor can help with a successful  transition to gainful employment.

This year, Jeremy is benefiting from two workability experiences while he is studying to earn his high school diploma. Twice a week he works at the local library (which he has visited on a regular basis for the last 10 years). Once a week he helps develop the business and marketing plans for the micro-enterprise experience that some of the other students are working on through workability. Jeremy  has come a long way thanks to all the different team members along the way who believed in his potential. It takes a village….

This article first appeared in The Autism File February 2009 issue.